I found it, I found love. But I can’t have him… yet.
It’s going to make me crazy of how long I will have to wait.
Until then, we are lovely lovely lovely friends.
Make Believe
Less than a week until Ireland.
I wish I could drive alone.
I want to see friends.
I hate being home all the time.
Cedar Point was a bummer, I really don’t understand how to deal with “slow” kids.
I love reading books to kids.
There is : Old man.
Skinny stick.
An old friend.
What the cuss.
I’m sure every man I was with sure wishes I’d go to hell.
I was blocked on Facebook. Because I told him I didn’t want to be his friend anymore.
I’m a rude bitch.
This is my life. I don’t exist, I never have, I never will.
Your mind can be lost for all of an eternity. But never found until it’s too late.
I’m not living, therefore I will never be alive.
Everything is making so much sense to me. But I can’t comprehend any of it.
What if my biological father was Mark Myers?
What if I never told my mom that her boyfriend said I was a “fuck up”?
What if I still went to school at Jackson?
What if I never moved to Jackson?
What if I never fell in love with Ryan Miller?
What if I didn’t have a beard fetish?
What if I ate right?
What if I lived in Columbus?
What if I didn’t cry in Achill?
What if I never bought a band t-shirt in my life?
What if I grew up with a best friend?
What if Lizzy McBride still existed in my world?
What if I didn’t cry as much as I do?
What if I went to bed earlier?
What if I tried hard in school?
What if I never lost my virginity to Mitch?
What if I was invited to Kent?
What if I never had Kirby?
What if people knew I existed?
What if? My life would be so different if any of these things have taken another course. I’m crying my eyes out to Mr. Nobody, it’s making me think of every aspect of life. Why am I here? Why don’t I exist?
